Buy my book, chubby!

I had one of those weird thoughts the other day. People (random strangers, mostly) occasionally ask me, "How do you stay so skinny?" Somehow it's acceptable to ask about my dietary habits, while it would be rude and insensitive for me to ask an obese person "How did you get so fat?" Having no better answer to these inquiries than a shrug, I have since come up with some replies:

Fast metabolism
Multiple gym memberships
[Insert fad diet here]
Internal parasite
[Insert eating disorder here]
I have restricted myself to an all-liquid diet until the US pulls out of Iraq
Balanced diet and moderate exercise
Androids don't gain weight
Ask a fat person what their daily routine is, and assume I generally do the opposite
I only eat what I can catch
Jesus helped me break my addiction to fast food and soft drinks
Hypnosis actually works. Who knew?

Pick your favorite, or add your own! Political correctness is not encouraged!

What I Did Over Summer Vacation, Volume 21

Someone asked me the other day, what I had been doing since the end of spring semester. I paused. What had I done with those warm, education-free months?
Well, I changed my major after I got my studio grade back. One visit to Starkville.
I sat on my butt at home for a month while I filled out over a dozen applications and waited for any responses. Finally went back to $6.50 an hour at a job that is either hot, boring, or ridiculously frustrating, with one boss I absolutely cannot stand. The other one is okay.
I chatted up my boyfriend via AIM every day, reminding him that his bills were due and bugging him about telling his parents that he was planning on marrying me.
I had my wisdom teeth removed, so I'm missing a couple of days ...
I stayed up until 3 a.m. (on several occasions) talking to Miki while she was supposed to be doing work in India.
I spent too much of my money on clothes. But I can now dress like an adult on a more regular basis! Be excited.
I convinced Harry (yes, I'm calling Adri's cat by his real name) that I will not eat him, nor will my skin secrete acid.
And I cleaned out my car. No more ants. Hoolay!