Monday, August 27, 2007

Buy my book, chubby!

I had one of those weird thoughts the other day. People (random strangers, mostly) occasionally ask me, "How do you stay so skinny?" Somehow it's acceptable to ask about my dietary habits, while it would be rude and insensitive for me to ask an obese person "How did you get so fat?" Having no better answer to these inquiries than a shrug, I have since come up with some replies:

Fast metabolism
Multiple gym memberships
[Insert fad diet here]
Internal parasite
[Insert eating disorder here]
I have restricted myself to an all-liquid diet until the US pulls out of Iraq
Balanced diet and moderate exercise
Androids don't gain weight
Ask a fat person what their daily routine is, and assume I generally do the opposite
I only eat what I can catch
Jesus helped me break my addiction to fast food and soft drinks
Hypnosis actually works. Who knew?

Pick your favorite, or add your own! Political correctness is not encouraged!

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