WHAT WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9
WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
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13 comments:
Yea!!!!!!! By the way, you wrote thought instead of through. But it doesn't matter, yea for feminism and genitals!!!
Actually it's "throught" ... a hybrid between thought and through. I shall rectify it, though.
"Throught"- the bastard child of though and thought, trying desperately to make it in a wolrd where all contractions are just expected to have apostophes. Couragously parading its differences while the man tries to put it down. Some laugh at Throught's life struggle to be accepted as a word but it soldiers on, a true inspiration to all laughable typos.
Is it just me, or my inability to type correctly all the more hilarious when I'm making fun of typos?
You make me giggle like a little child.
In defense of penises, I must inform you that aiming is not as simple as it seems, because many factors affect whether urine comes out straight, or if it's in a single stream or multiple streams going off in different directions. This can be corrected for, but you can't tell how it'll come out until you actually start to go, and once you start, you have to correct on-the-fly, because it's very painful to try to stop.
In case you were wondering :-p
Dearest Nick,
I now know more about your peeing habits than I ever needed to. Thanks for the enlightenment :P
*blink*
I find it terribly amusing that we've never actually met but you've posted a response on my blog about peeing. So ... how many of the things in the second list would you actually do?
Well, these lists are actually don't make sense at times, because sometimes it's replacing only the primary sex organ, sometimes its a one-day sex change. But assuming it is only replacing the organ in question...
I actually wouldn't do most of them. #8 doesn't make sense because splits have to do with flexibility not with the absence of equipment; I don't understand #7 (wtf does "launching a ping pong ball" have to do with a vagina?). I would do three of the ones from the second list; #6, #4, and #1 probably.
What about you for the first list?
I'm glad I was able to provide some amusement lol
Nick is a weird-bag, ain't he? But this is why we like him. Anyway, Nick, I would definately unabashedly scratch my gentials in public, and I'd find out why guys are basically dead after having sex. See, this is one of the many reasons women are more powerful! I'd also try to creep guys out while peeing next to them...like ask them strange questions.
I would deffinately go for #9, 8, 7, 4, 3, and 1 :)
And the ping pong ball thing has to do with kegal(sp?) exercises. The idea is to strengthen the vaginal muscles. In theory, a woman would be able to stick a ping pong ball up there and then force is out so hard that it is launched a good distance.
If it's any consolation, I haven't managed #1 from the vagina list. Let's see ... #9, 8, 5 (assuming I was in a serious monogamous relationship with the other person, and that person happened to be having a vagina for a day ... yeah, big "if" there), 3, 2 (I'd probably also give it a name, just for giggles), and 1.
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